A Pictorial History of Enviro-Mentalism…

Thanks to Celestial Junk for coining the phrase, “Enviro-Mentalism“.

A long time ago in Vancouver, the earth was green.  Except before that, it was denuded at the turn of the century by logging companies - which is why 90% of the massive “old growth” trees in Stanley Park are less than 100 years old, and the forested mountains the give our fair city it’s emerald wreath are all “second growth” which isn’t supposed to happen according to the enviro-mentalists.

But I digress.

In those halcyon days, the evil supermarkets used these harbingers of the apocalypse: the brown paper bag to hold groceries.

Of course, the righteous ecological denizens of Vancouver rallied to fight this plague.  Our groceries were decimating the forests!  The owls, the bears!  They would have no home because of our evil bags!

Enter the plastic bag.  Ah, these little marvels cost us nothing, and they could be recycled into all manner of useful things, like fleece vests and children’s playground equipment!

But sadly, people couldn’t be bothered to recycle.  They used them as trash bags instead of stockpiling them and handing them into the local recycler.  Hence, off to the dreaded landfill, to fill up our world with non-bio-degradeable petrochemically based waste!

Now a new solution arises: the reusable cotton bags!  Now we have to worry about washing our bags, and now we have to pay for our garbage bags - plastic is still going to the landfill with every trash run, but now we can feel better about ourselves as we shop… and pack our own bags… and worry if they are dirty or not… and pay more for both them and for the garbage bags we have to use anyways…

Never mind the otherwise arable land that could be used for foodstuffs instead of growing cotton…

But I digress.

But this history is not just about groceries.  Now the history affects not just the buying of plants, but the discarding of plants.

We used to just load up our trucks, drive out to the sticks, and dump our grass clippings alongside of the road in the ditch.  Same went for sticks, weeds, etc.  We thought it was good - the green waste would just be absorbed by the forest or dirt, naturally compost back into the ground.

But no, in the big city, that is far too messy.  They started fining people for “dumping” leaves twigs and grass in amongst the naturally occurring leaves, twigs and grass.  Then they sent around “green waste” trucks and charging us for the convenience.  They demanded that we put the “green waste” in clear plastic bags.

Now, it seemed silly to put stuff that will ultimately pass into the soil in non-recyclable bags, but we did so because the pickup guys said they had to “see” that we weren’t stashing garbage in with the green waste.

Now however, the environmentalists have finally gotten wind of the evils of plastic bags.  “Cease and desist!  Evil clear petrochemicals!”  Now we must use…

Yes!  The paper bag!  Because they are bio-degradeable!  Where they used to be free at the grocery store, it’s now 5 for $3!

Funny thing is, with the old clear bags, they never cared how much I put in them.  I could stuff them as full as I want.  But now in this brave new world of paper bags and labelled receptacles, I have twice been denied pickup because it was “too heavy”.

With grass clippings.

And the forests will still be chopped down, mercilessly.

And we have to pay.  And pay.  And pay.  And pay.  And pay.