As passed along via email. How genuine I do not know, but it gets the point across.
A lady libertarian wrote a lot of letters to the government, complaining
about the treatment of a captive insurgents (terrorists) being held in
Afghanistan National Correctional System facilities. She received back
the following reply:National Defence Headquarters
MGen George R. Pearkes Bldg, 15 NT
101 Colonel By Drive
Ottawa, ON K1A 0K2 CanadaDear Concerned Citizen,
Thank you for your recent letter expressing your profound concern of
treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda terrorists captured by Canadian
Forces who were subsequently transferred to the Afghanistan Government
and are currently being held by Afghan officials in Afghanistan
National Correctional System facilities.Our administration takes these matters seriously and your opinions were
heard loud and clear here in Ottawa. You will be pleased to learn,
thanks to the concerns of citizens like yourself; we are creating a new
department here at the Department of National Defense, to be called
“Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers” program, or L.A.R.K. for
short.In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided
to divert one terrorist and place him in your personal care. Your
personal detainee has been selected and is scheduled for transportation
under heavily armed guard to your residence in Toronto next Monday. Ali
Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud (you can just call him Ahmed) is to be cared
for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of complaint.
It will likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant caretakers. We
will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for
Ahmed are commensurate with those you so strongly recommend in your
letter.Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we hope that your
sensitivity to what you described as his “attitudinal problem” will
help him overcome these character flaws. Perhaps you are correct in
describing these problems as mere cultural differences. We understand
that you plan to offer counseling and home schooling.Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat
and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail
clippers. We advise that you do not ask him to demonstrate these skills
at your next yoga group. He is also expert at making a wide variety of
explosive devices from common household products, so you may wish to
keep those items locked up, unless (in your opinion) this might offend
him.Ahmed will not wish to interact with you or your daughters (except
sexually) since he views females as a subhuman form of property. This
is a particularly sensitive subject for him and he has been known to
show violent tendencies around women who fail to comply with the new dress
code that he will recommend as more appropriate attire. I’m sure you
will come to enjoy the anonymity offered by the burka over time. Just remember that
it is all part of “respecting his culture and religious beliefs” as
described in your letter.Thanks again for your concern. We truly appreciate it when folks like
you keep us informed of the proper way to do our job and care for our
fellow man. You take good care of Ahmed and remember, we’ll be
watching.Good luck and God bless you.
Cordially,Gordon O’Connor
Minister of National Defense
Right Crazy (.com) wrote:
mentioned it as well. I can pretty much gaurantee that it’s just another of those internet fabrications but I have to admit that I damn near laughed my arse off the first time I read it. As the story goes, a lady libertarian from the Centre Of The Universe®
Posted on 30-Nov-99 at 12:00 am | Permalink
Aaron Unruh wrote:
“We advise that you do not ask him to demonstrate these skills at your next yoga group.”
Not a bad idea. Ahmed probably needs to loosen up a little.
Posted on 27-Jun-07 at 8:54 pm | Permalink
George Freeman wrote:
Definitely! These terrorist dudes just need to get centred.
Posted on 27-Jun-07 at 8:58 pm | Permalink
Abattoir wrote:
Interesting. I had thought the level of discourse here was above that of war-mongering flag-waving xenophobic southern Republicans. Apparently, I was mistaken.
Sociopathic terrorists or not, these are humans deserving of humane treatment. To deny them such would be to lower ourselves to their level. Canada has an obligation to look after the well-being of anyone captured by Canadian troops, to ensure their human rights are respected.
Posted on 28-Jun-07 at 8:43 am | Permalink
rex wrote:
These terrorist are subhuman in their behaviour; why should we treat them like humans?
Do not provide aid or comfort to the enemy.
Posted on 28-Jun-07 at 9:57 am | Permalink
Clay wrote:
These “terrorists” are often random citizens, farmers, etc who are picked up for no reason other than they are in the wrong place at the right time. The expectation is that humane treatment be provided while being held while awaiting charges/trials. I know it is easier for you all to just write off every dark skinned person as a terrorist, but it is truley not the case.
Posted on 28-Jun-07 at 11:04 am | Permalink
George Freeman wrote:
The reality of war is tough. I have seen no evidence to believe Clay’s assertion to be the case. Nor do I think the terrorists are subhuman.
However, what passes as inhumane treatment to a Canadian cynic is not necessarily that inhumane to the context of the war in Afghanistan. The Afghanis have to learn to govern themselves, and it takes time to develop good institutional infrastructure to support criminal prosecution.
As long as they are getting fed something half decent relative to the rest of the population, not getting their limbs hacked off during interrogation, they’re doing ok.
Case in point, while I thought the Abu Grahab scandal was bad, it wasn’t that bad; still better treatment than anything the Iraqis would have rendered such prisoners.
But I realize idealists have a hard time coming to grips with reality of war, the sometimes necessary use of torture.
Posted on 28-Jun-07 at 11:29 am | Permalink
Ryan wrote:
“Case in point, while I thought the Abu Grahab scandal was bad, it wasn’t that bad; still better treatment than anything the Iraqis would have rendered such prisoners.”
Surely, we need to hold our treatment of detainees to a higher standard than “anything the Iraqis would have rendered such prisoners.” Otherwise, what the hell are we doing over there? How could we hope to help implement a strong and principled democracy in Afghanistan that abides by the rule of law? We need to set an example in Afghanistan on how to do things right. The sad thing is that our armed forces do this 99% of the time and I would argue that the treatment of detainees issue is part of the other 1%. Our Military and political leadership is more than capable to solve this problem and work with the Afghans on an appropriate approach to treating prisoners.
Posted on 29-Jun-07 at 7:26 am | Permalink
Crux-of-the-Matter » Blog Archive » A mischevious letter from Gordon O’Connor? wrote:
[…] tongue firmly planted in cheek, one of my regular readers, SOR (aka Sandra O.) sent me the URL for this mischevious letter ostensibly from a lady libertarian to Defense Minister Gordon O’Connor regarding the treatment […]
Posted on 29-Jun-07 at 12:31 pm | Permalink
Sandy (COTM) wrote:
George — I have taken the liberty of posting this “letter” with full credits to you and thepolitic.com
Posted on 29-Jun-07 at 12:42 pm | Permalink