Predicting the Headlines
March 30, 2006 · By Peter Rempel
No need to read the newspapers. ThePolitic.com already has the important media stories summed up for you:
Stephen Harper’s belly was visible today while accompanying the traitor David Emerson, who is facing continued pressure to resign, to a secret cabinet meeting that wasn’t announced to the media beforehand. Lunch will also be served at the meeting, although we in the media were not told what is on the menu, which will be used to fill Harper’s big stomach and satisfice David Emerson’s appetite, which is apparently not as big as his insatiable appetite for a cabinet post. A high-calorie dessert, all the better to add lard to Harper’s ass, will be served after the lunch, in the same way that David Emerson switched to the Conservatives after being elected as a Liberal, a move he failed to alert the media about beforehand.
Please join us for a special media roundtable to discuss how Stephen Harper’s refusal to disclose the time of cabinet meetings is curtailing to ability of the media to fulfill the public’s right to know about Stephen Harper’s weight.
ROFLMAO - you should have your pick of reporter’s jobs when this gets out!
You sound so bitter. I would love to see your face when it is announced Emerson wins re-election. I’ll bet that will eat a hole in your belly.
Are you talking to me?
To the author of “Predicting the Headlines”
It was a sarcastic commentary on the media’s preoccupation with Emerson, secrecy, and Harper’s waistline.
Geesh Shmoo - can’t you glean sarcasm when you read it.
Great “report” - but aren’t you afraid it will get lost in the plethora of other reports in the same vein. Ah well, at least you were the first to report it!
Caught Canada AM this morning with David Akin’s report - they were all laughing about the vest, the belly and cutting the trip up the pyramids short - once again the politic is on top of the story.
Actually it pisses me off that they are so damned disrespectful - they sure wouldn’t be doing this with a liberal prime minister. It’s is exactly like the popular kids at school picking on the one they see as the “loser” to take him down a notch - to prove their power.
Disrespectful is right, Alberta Girl! For comparison sake, in the America of Bill Clinton’s era (a leader with a similar waistline), this sort of news was the stuff of Saturday Night Live, not mainstream coverage.
Bloggers need to lead the way in challenging Canada’s national media for their inconsequential, ignorant, haughty, and mostly cynical journalism!
Unfortunately, Schmoo has not seen fit to correct his original reply regarding his hope that a hole would be eaten in my belly.
Lunkhead.
Peter Rempel, just another vestal virgin awaiting sacrificial attonement in pagan sacrifice. So down he’s lowered, belly first into a volcanic chasm, shreaking like a little girl, “Ahhh Ahhhh OooKaaay no more sarcasm Ahhh Ahhh!”
“Peter Rempel, just another vestal virgin…”
Looking forward to August….
[inside joke]