Canada’s Plural Culture

Tim Hortons makes damn good coffee, as my girlfriend and I discovered this summer in Calgary. They also produce some of the goofiest, sappiest ads I have ever seen. In one, a teenager enthralls his parents with the story of how his Tim Horton’s travel-mug enabled him to make oodles of friends while touring Europe. In a heart-rending conclusion, made all the more difficult to see through tear-soaked eyes, his letter ends with, “And Dad, don’t forget to get me my double-double before you come to pick me up at the airport.” [A double-double, for the uninitiated, is a cup of coffee with two creams and sugars each.] A billboard reads, “True Patriotism” above a cup of black Tim Horton’s coffee.

Tim Horton’s, it would seem, is now attaching itself to the corporate advertisement strategy of Molson Canadian. Both now appeal in their ads to an erstwhile pan-Canadian nationalism; a joyous dream of bureaucrats and federal Liberals, a profound puzzlement for any Canadian living outside the Golden Horseshoe. Why do you drink Molson beer, you early-20s hipster? “Because, I am Canadian!” Why are you now (presumably the next morning) drinking a double-double out of a Big Tim mug? “Because, I’m showing true patriotism!”

All of this breast-beating about being Canadian and what it is that Canadians do necessarily means that a pan-Canadian culture actually does exist. But of course such a mythical creature does not exist. Canada is a plural country, divided in its culture across regional lines. I have known this for some time, but only upon returning to Vancouver and heading out to get a coffee did I realize the extent of it. Sarahbellum has done a magnificent job of outlining regional coffee divergence in Canada. Some excerpts:
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Kerry Daughters Get Boos and Cooper Speaks Out

And you thought MTV viewers were a bunch of “Bush Haters,” well it appears that might not be the case,

From the moment Alexandra and Vanessa [Kerry] started speaking, the boos outweighed anything close to cheers,” according to the Drudge Report.

Another website, juiceenewsdaily.com stated: “At one point one of the daughters even held her finger to her mouth in an effort to ‘shush’ the rowdy crowd. The boos only grew louder when the daughters suggested that the best choice for a president in this year’s election should be their father.”

In an equally entertaining moment, Alice Cooper weighs in with his opinion on rockers lending support to politicians,

“If you’re listening to a rock star in order to get your information on who to vote for, you’re a bigger moron than they are. Why are we rock stars? Because we’re morons. We sleep all day, we play music at night and very rarely do we sit around reading the Washington Journal.”

“Besides,” he continued, “when I read the list of people who are supporting Kerry, if I wasn’t already a Bush supporter, I would have immediately switched. Linda Ronstadt? Don Henley? Geez, that’s a good reason right there to vote for Bush.”

Goodbye John Kerry: No Contest Election

It may be raving but it certainly is accurate. Varifrank tells it the way it is about John Kerry

Farewell John Kerry!

Let’s take a look at the score so far. Kerry, who decided for some reason beyond the comprehension of a simpleton like me, has decided that the most important thing to run his campaign on is 4 months of service in Vietnam 35 years ago.

Here you are, with a 15% polling tailwind from the press reduced to Michael Moore street theatre with Max Cleland doing your dirty work in front of the cameras.

There is no President in modern memory who is so universally hated than George W. Bush, and yet, you’ve never polled outside of the margin of error. Now, the polls are going against you, and by my measurement, its going to get worse, not better from here. Bush is a marathon runner and you are a country club golf cart riding, two caddy golfer. As long as you continue to bring your B game to an A game park, you and your party are going to look fools. At some point, you will begin to see you allies in your party and the press make you the pinata at this party. They will not take the heat for your loss, they will tie a can around your neck and toss you out into the exercise yard for the guards to shoot at. Everyone loves a winner, but no one can stand a loser.

My sentiments exactly.

Parrish Calls Americans Idiots

Carolyn Parrish is at it again, she’s bound and determined to make her voice heard when it comes to our neighbors to the south. The only problem is, she’s got nothing but anti-American vitriol to spew,

Outspoken Canadian Legislator Calls U.S. ‘Idiots’

Canadian Member of Parliament Carolyn Parrish had said she hated “damned Americans” and called them bastards in the run-up to the Iraq war. She found a new moniker, idiots, on Wednesday in discussing the planned U.S. missile defense system.

“We are not joining the coalition of the idiots. We are joining the coalition of the wise,” the Liberal legislator told a small group of demonstrators.

Parrish then begged reporters not to use the remarks: “Please guys don’t put that on tape,” she said. “I already got into trouble once…. Really, please, I’ve had enough trouble.”

That last part is about as pathetic as her previous statements about Americans. If Prime Minister Paul Martin, and Canadians, are actually serious about mending the tattered and abused relations between Canada and the United States, then we should accept nothing less than her resignation.

Alberta: More Money Than Brains?

With oil edging closer to the $50 a barrel mark, commentators, politicians and economists are busy speculating the potential windfall for the Alberta government.

‘Obscene’ oil revenue predicted for Alberta

“The revised revenue forecast will be in excess of $8 billion,” Smith said of a provincial update expected by month-end, adding a $5-billion surplus “is not impossible.”

More importantly, significantly higher long-term prices set the stage for Alberta to have resource revenue as high as $13.5 billion a year from oil alone, as oilsands developments reach so-called pay-out status, whereby royalties rise to 25 per cent of net revenue from one per cent of gross.

It will be interesting to see how the Alberta government manages itself in this post-debt era of high resource revenues. I think some would argue that the true test of a government isn’t whether they can balance a budget or sustain positive economic growth – although some provinces who’ve had difficulty doing both may argue otherwise – but rather how you perform after you’ve managed to slay the debt and you suddenly find the government coffers in surplus. Arguing for fiscal restraint in the face of massive deficits and economic collapse is in many ways far easier than arguing for fiscal restraint in the face of massive surpluses and economic prosperity.

The real worry for Albertans is the government not heeding the advice of the fiscal conservatives and will go on a spending spree not seen since the Lougheed days. Premier Lougheed, spurred by the enormous surpluses of the late 70′s OPEC crisis, spent and spent till there was nothing left except a blotted bureaucracy, a massive debt, and hospital in every community that bothered to ask for one.

The urge to spend will be enormous, but individual prosperity will only be achieved through equitable tax breaks and increased investment in sustainable infrastructure.

You’re a Christian? Canada Says Get Lost

In a great example of how Canadian bureaucrats and their pluralist buddies are hell-bent on purging Canadian society of any mention of God or Christianity, Citizenship and Immigration Canada has banned the Canadian Bible Society, those evil “Bible thumpers”, from giving out Bibles at citizenship ceremonies. Officials at the department claim that the practice is, “not consistent with the federal government’s secular nature”

Bibles banned from citizenship ceremonies

We find that allowing holy books to be made available at citizenship ceremonies detracts from this message and could be construed as a tacit endorsement of certain religions,” the citizenship department told the society in a recent letter.

Imagine that, a government giving a tacit endorsement to a religion that a vast majority (+77%) of Canadians call their own. A religion that helped secure and build the morals and values of Canadian society since Confederation. And finally, a religion that our forefathers found so important as to explicitly mention in the preamble to the Constitution.

I would say that would warrant a mention to those who choose to become Canadians.

Whitewash Committee Tells Albertans What to Think

I attended the government MLA Committee on Strengthening Alberta’s Role in Confederation when made its scheduled stop in my home town. It was, much like I expected it would be, a complete waste of my time. To start, only two of the nine member committee bothered to even show up, and those two, Ian McClelland and Jon Lord, had absolutely no interest in listening to the 150+ people in the room.

Of the two and a half hours of presentations made by passionate Albertans, not a single one promoted the status quo. The presenters ranged from university professors to farmers to ordinary city folk and yet each was met with contempt and disregard from both McClelland and Lord. After each individual had made his or her presentation, McClelland and Lord then returned the favour by grilling the individual about the particulars of their proposals.

“Well, what about this, well what about that?” was the predictable response from the two government lackeys. It was apparent to me, they had absolutely no intention of listening – or much less than reporting – what these people were saying. And while I agree that many of the ideas shared by these passionate Albertans needed more examination, this was neither the time or the place to do it. The committees objective was to, “[invite] Albertans to provide input on the current state of relations between Alberta and the federal government, and [to] share their views on how Alberta’s role in Canada can be improved or strengthened” – not to share their ideas and then defend them to a hostile group of “know-it-alls.”

But alas, it appears it was an exercise in futility,

Alberta ‘firewall’ rejected

EDMONTON – An Alberta government report meant to soothe the most right-wing elements of the provincial Conservative party has inflamed ardent supporters of so-called ”firewall” provisions, which were largely rejected by the paper.

In general, the report reinforces the Klein government status-quo, calling on Alberta to urge Ottawa to end the Canadian Wheat Board monopoly and the gun registry. One recommendation said the federal government should be pushed to funnel tax revenues directly to the provinces so they can make decisions about programs “within their constitutional authority” such as health care.

But I knew that already – Premier Klein and the Progressive Conservatives had no intention of listening to what these people had to say. The committee was simply a way for the government to counter its critics claim that they weren’t listening to the demands of its citizenry.

Demands they now claim have no merit – we’ll see election day.

Seniors Get a Break – The Rest of Us Don’t

With a provincial election almost a certainty this fall, the Alberta government is expected to go on a spending spree – dumping cash and privilege on those demographics that will provide the governing party, the Progressive Conservatives, with the biggest payoff. It appears this week it’s going to be the senior citizens,

Alberta seniors to get break on health care

EDMONTON — In a move criticized as a “cynical” pre-election ploy, the Alberta government intends to eliminate health-care premiums for all seniors, pay part of their optical and dental care and increase the thresholds of a low-income benefit plan.

I’m cynical of the program not because the government is obviously trying to gain favour with a group that tends to vote in large numbers, but because the handout is targeting a group of individuals who, in my opinion, don’t need it. Low income seniors are already exempt from paying healthcare premiums, so by eliminating premiums for all seniors, regardless of income, the government is basically favouring those seniors who can easily afford to pay the premiums.

It’s a slap in the face to all those individuals who don’t have the pleasure of being over 65.

Now if Conservatives decided to give us all a big fat tax break – maybe lowering the provincial income tax to 8% – I might change my tune.

Throw the Book at Heatherington

I am willing to wager that when Dar Heatherington steps in front of the judge on Sept. 10 to be sentenced for public mischief, she’ll walk away a free women. Sure she might get some pathetic slap on the wrist, most likely in the form of community service, but one thing is almost certain – she’ll escape any jail time.

Why am I so sure? Well, it seems fame in Canada means you get a free ride. Look at the punishment dolled out to Svend Robinson for his crime of stealing a $64,000 diamond engagement ring – the Canadian government sends him on a taxpayer-funded trip to Scotland and the judge gives him a conditional discharge and 100 hours of community service. The judge didn’t give him any jail time or even a criminal conviction, just a long string of excuses of why this poor man has suffered enough,

Robinson has suffered intense humiliation, has been shamed out of public office and Justice Ron Fratkin said that’s punishment enough. “In Canada, we don’t kick people when they’re down,” he said.

Robinson “has fallen far further than most, all for a bauble, a trinket, a ring,” said Fratkin.

He had been sliding towards a breakdown, Fratkin noted, and people close to him could see it coming. He was falling apart, showing up at his office with circles under his eyes, shaky, his skin grey.

Boo hoo – excuse me for a moment while I whip the tears from my eyes.

Imagine for a moment that Svend wasn’t famous, and that Dar was just another person on the street. Do you really think they would get away with what they have done? Dar cost the City of Lethbridge and City of Great Falls police departments over $25,000 in policing costs, and Svend didn’t just steal some “trinket”, he sold a ring worth more than most people’s cars.

Do you think you would get away this sort of behaviour?

Not a chance, cause you’re not famous.

Liberals Kinda Support Missle Defence – But Not Really

The Liberal party is once again trying to have their cake and eat it too when I comes to continental defence. Just recently the Liberal government agreed to an amendment to NORAD which would allow “Norad [to] keep its missile warning function, but it will now make the data available to U.S. missile defence system commanders.”

Critics of the move blast Defence Minister Bill Graham and the Liberals, saying that it pushes “Canada closer to participating in a controversial U.S. missile defence program.” Graham then responds,

The amendment doesn’t commit Canada at all. He said Ottawa had to agree to the change, which makes Norad the lookout for the U.S. system, or the 50-year-old agency would have become obsolete. [?]

Luckily for Graham, Canada is one step closer to full compliance with the Americans on Missile Defence, yet he and the Liberal party can avoid the unfortunate task of taking a position and defending it with some integrity.

Compliance without any commitment – deniability assured.